You sure did.

Breathe and relax. Please.

I attended the banquet for Smile Colombia and, though it's a poor quality image (sorry, no scanner), I wanted to show it off with faces in it.

Yup. They liked it.

Due to my recent sour mood lately, I have been noticing the people in my life and how I appreciate what each one of them has done and does for me on a regular basis. 

The kinds of friends who cater to your whims of going for long walks and taking pictures of random objects.

The kinds of friends who make you more comfortable in who you are.

The kinds of friends who take you on adventures.

The kinds of friends who know when to pour the liquor.

The kinds of friends who you buy a cookie with...

...and then end up with in an empty field holding crumbs.

I love each and every one of you so much.

(andthatisthetruth.)

A feeling of accomplishment.

A couple of posts ago, I showed you the beginnings of what would be the face-cut-out-photo-thing for the Smile Colombia fundraiser gala. Tonight, I have completed said project. Thank you to everyone who helped and who supervised and who just showed up to check on me.

This painting, though it had to be done quickly and simply, was not the easiest in the world. It was large, very heavy, and tough to paint on so that it was solid and not translucent. Not to mention I am not in the best mood lately.

Something about it though made my fucking day. I looked at it, in its goofy, cartoony hilarity and thought, "I did that. I fucking did that."  To be quite honest (and maybe too personal), my heart is broken right now. I haven't slept more than two hours at a time, I have no appetite, and I would rather not even get out of bed.

But this was different. I had promised a friend (and a dear one at that) that I would have this done by Wednesday...so I just poured myself into it. Never mind the lack of motivation. Never mind the racing thoughts. Never mind all the bullshit that was going on around me. I set it up, put my paints around me, sat on top of it, painting, and did not look back.

And what did I get?

Not too shabby, eh? The hands are a little wonky, and the heads won't be to scale with the bodies, but it's still awesome. It is exactly what I had in my head. Ask any "artist" or any regular Joe trying to draw a picture. There is nothing more satisfying than stepping back and saying, "Yes. This is exactly what I had in mind."

And so I sit here now, staring at its glory, my hands covered in peeling paint, my jeans ruined... If I could do this, my heart broken, then that's something. If I can make something I am so proud of when I feel so worthless, well shit, I can do anything. 

All I'm saying is don't give into depression...and I know that's hard...but take it, put a positive spin on it. Distract yourself. Occupy your time. Make something you can show to other people and say, "Yes. That is mine."

I'll wrap up on a more positive note. I would once again like to say thanks to everyone who helped me out yesterday and today. Sorry to use names, but you helped and get a shout out. I'll use nicknames. :) 

Thank you Hawthy (especially), Jladd, Wesley, Loag, E, and lil' Hoopster...for everything. I love you guys.

Now get your ass off the internet and go do something positive to show me.

(ipromiseithelps)

Seeing as it's the theme and all...

I thought I would pay homage to the glory that is the good ol' fashioned sandwich.

You see, not only do I make sandwiches for a living . . . I am a connoisseur of all things put between two pieces of bread. I love inventing, making, and eating a sandwich. I could honestly eat one for every meal.

Here's a little delight I had earlier at a little place called Fancy That in downtown Norman. If you've yet to try it, I highly recommend the tomato soup and red velvet "cake dots."

I ordered a "BBQ Brisket Reuben." I hate corned beef, but a turkey Reuben is one of my favorite sandwiches. Sauerkraut is my friend. ;)

This little baby is sliced brisket, Swiss cheese, and cole slaw all melted together on toast. A fun way to countrify a classic NYC sandwich! Take a look.

(trynottolickthecomputer.)

A favor for a friend.

A couple of weeks ago, one of my friends commissioned me to paint one of those photobooth things with the faces cut out... I'm not sure there's a name for that. "We need Tarzan and Jane," she told me.

So I drew up some plans, the board was delivered (FINALLY) and I got to working on it.

I want it to have a cartoony, over the top, animated feel to it, so I began with a yellow back drop and greenish gold vines (thanks to another friend for helping with those damned leaves).

I just started whiting out the spots where I want to draw the characters and thought it was too creepy not to share. The premise is Jane sitting on Tarzan's lap as he swings valiantly through the trees and vines.

I labeled it to clear up any questions.

(ghosttarzanyellsOoOoOoOo.)

It's a lovely day.

I woke up this morning and opened my eyes. My blinds were shut, but the sky was so blue, it was making its way between the slats. I could not help but smile. For some reason, today was the day. I feel better today than I have felt in over a year.

And here are the things I'm realizing, through discussions with friends, counselors, etc...

The only thing that I know truly exists is me...well. Philosophically speaking. Remember when you were young and you had that fear that maybe nothing was real? Maybe it was all a screen you were watching? Maybe you were the only conscious being in existence? This fear, which is also Rene Descartes Malicious Demon theory, is common among children.

That's not the point. The point is to kind of take that idea and run with it. Be a little selfish. Worry about yourself. You can't control the actions or opinions of anyone around you, so take control of what you have the ability to control...yourself. Your decisions. Your ideals.

Just be happy with you and who you are. Surround yourself with people whom you don't have to worry about judging you. You are who you are and fuck what anyone else thinks.

(easiersaidthandone,no?)

Hiatus over...I think. Consistency is my goal.

Just downloaded "Big Shiny 90's." Listening to awesome songs I'd forgotten, such as In the Meantime (Spacehog) and Volcano Girls (Veruca Salt). Remember What's the Frequency Kenneth (REM)?

Ranting about nostalgia...

So anyway. I realize this last hiatus was far longer than those in the past, but the weather is nice and I feel my optimism/good mood is slowly returning. The cold weather has that nasty little ability to kill happiness and motivation. With the weather finally changing and the earth slowly returning back to life, it is hard not to crack a smile. Waking up to chirping birds is just about the best thing that can happen in a given day.

But let's talk about the real issue.

Spring fever.

It's settin' in.

Spring fever + (Aries Sun/Scorpio Moon)

The flowers are blooming.

[andsoisyourlibido]

Need to stop being so lazy.

This cold weather is killing me . . . bit by bit. It seems to have taken hold of many of the people around me as well, attacking everyone's inspiration, libido, empathy, what have you.

Today's post will not be long, as I am working on a real post (it's a drawin'). 

For those of you who follow astrology, you have probably hear about the astrological "pushback" and possible addition of a 13th sign, Ophiuchus. If you are a Sagittarius like me, you have probably been pacing around your house, hoping and praying you hadn't been kicked out of the "Best Sign of the Zodiac" club.

Well, there is hope yet. Apparently, this would only affect children born after 2009 and only in Eastern Zodiacs. The one 31% of Americans follow is the Tropical Zodiac, which will not be affected. 

So slow your roll, Sagittarians and Capricorns.

(ophiuchusmyass.)