A long-awaited post...my apologies.

First of all, allow me to explain myself. With the arrival of Thanksgiving came the arrival of pumpkin pie.

For those of you who have known me less than a year, you should know I lost 50 lbs last year. I taught myself to hate everything that tasted good...

...except pumpkin pie. What can I say? I guess it brings out my inner fatass.

After having my stomach pumped, they took me into a little room to ask me "some questions."

Was it an accident? Did I eat that much pumpkin pie by accident or was I trying to escape?

Sorry to disappoint ya'll.

(wasactuallyjustbeingafatass.)